No More New Year's Resolutions...
It’s taken almost two decades to stop making New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, exercise and eat healthier! Every year, I’d buy exercise equipment, and tons of healthy ingredients to cook healthier meals--it took a few days, maybe a few weeks for the plans to come crashing down. It was overwhelming to change my lifestyle so quickly. I'd overspend and underused all of my purchases. The failed attempts would send me into a nosedive toward a fiery ball of shame, and I'd start overeating to soothe myself. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions that had me puking with disgust by the second week of January.

This past year, I was determined to break the cycle of failed attempts to a lifestyle change. I had several changes in mind during the year that I wanted to make, so I started doing them little by little each month. When I got to December, I had made some successful changes in my diet, I had a regular workout routine and a better outlook on my health. It took twelve months to reach this goal! It’s no wonder I was failing so miserably each January trying to squeeze in changes that could take longer than a few months and a few tries.

A few months ago, I started taking a few classes at a Pilates studio but the initial decision to sign up gave me anxiety. I didn’t want to be the only person there that didn’t know what I was doing. I started attending classes against my will—I say that because I was determined to not waste any more cash on expired classes or equipment, and because they aren’t cheap, my pocketbook was forcing me to attend. I had nightmares about attending class for many weeks, but each morning, I’d put on my workout clothes and look in the mirror and sigh deeply with anxiety. It took me a month to get over the fear of attending the classes. Once my class sessions run out, I’m signing up for yoga which is cheaper per class and a great workout, and I'll continue to change my workouts throughout the year based on cost, boredom, and results.

Something else has helped, too. I've stopped joining in the herd mentality! I hear people talk about having a glass a wine, chocolate, chips or chili cheese fries (my fave) because that’s what you eat or drink to treat yourself or de-stress. It's encouraged to be on a constant "indulgent state of mind because life is stressful." People preach it on social media, tv commercials and the community I belong to, it's a permission slip to use bad habits to cope, but I can’t do it anymore. I want and need better coping mechanisms that don’t require me flooding my body with indulgences that are meant to be consumed scarcely. I don’t have a weight goal in mind anymore, so I’m not battling with the scale to reach that number. I’m basing it on how I feel every day and what small changes I want to make. Nothing earth shattering anymore, just minor tweaks toward a lifestyle change that will have its ups and downs, and that's ok. Let's find our frequency and keep fine-tuning it as needed, without judgment and without punishment. “Too often we forget that discipline really means to teach, not to punish.” –Dr. Dan Siegel. Find your path, gather the strength to follow it, and keep going. It'll be tough but we can do it!

In hope, I am fearless.



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