Fears and Struggles
Fear is a big part of my daily life. I fear not ever being able to make a living again. While I am passionate about raising my two children and being a good wife to my husband, I fear never finding my own passion that creates joy and a sense of purpose. I left a corporate job almost eight years ago to start a children’s clothing line. Without any experience in that industry, I hung on to every word a friend of a friend taught me about the industry. I figured that starting a new venture would be easier than working at a dead-end 9-5 job. I needed to explore my passions and to try to create a better financial future for my family. I desperately needed my own identity. I had been pregnant and breastfeeding for what felt like an eternity, so I needed to find something that gave me a sense of self worth. Without going into all of the painful mistakes and disasters that ultimately lead to the demise of my company, I picked one of the toughest and most expensive industries to enter without experience! I failed at every goal I had set out to achieve. The garment industry is not for the faint of heart or the self-financed person without other financial investors. So, only two years after quitting my corporate job, I had dug a deeper hole of insecurity, felt a lesser sense of worth and an even lesser sense of who I was and where I was heading.
I dabbled in direct sales - big, big, big, mistake!! I freelanced for friends who owned companies. I set out to find a full-time job but my resume scared every Human Resources person in town! They didn’t know what to do with an entrepreneur/stay-at-home mom/freelancer of many years! I kept my hopes and head up and continued to search out business opportunities that would lead me to finding my passion and making a living at it. I have been a friend’s assistant, a runner, a sales person, an app creator for iPhones (it was a very interesting experience!), a free life coach (in-training), a therapy junkie and finally, a mom and a wife!
Four years ago, after leaving my weekly therapy session, I decided to read a self-help book (Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer) that I had been putting off for many years. That book opened my eyes and started me on a self-healing path that would ultimately land me here! I have since read many more books and continue my weekly therapy sessions.
I had days of complete boredom, after I’d finished with cooking and cleaning and dealing with my children. The boredom came from not feeling like I had any interesting personal development or passion left in me. I would search out websites or videos on YouTube to inspire me and maybe guide me through my gloomy days. I reached out, or rather, blurted out, to my friend Maria, while having our monthly lunch at our favorite restaurant, "We need to start a website that inspires and encourages women, a place where women feel the support and empathy of other women treading through life with their individual but similar struggles.” So, Maria and I set out to create a place where we can share our challenges. We have also invited our fabulous girlfriends to help us and share their thoughts, advice and encouraging stories. I have started this new chapter in hopes that I can conquer my fears, see how great my worth is and evolve as a flawed but passionate woman on a quest to find my Lucky Break in this chaotic grind that I call my life. Cheers!