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Fears and Struggles



Fear is a big part of my daily life.  I fear not ever being able to make a living again. While I am passionate about raising my two children and being a good wife to my husband, I fear never finding my own passion that creates joy and a sense of purpose.  I left a corporate job almost eight years ago to start a children’s clothing line.  Without any experience in that industry, I hung on to every word a friend of a friend taught me about the industry. I figured that starting a new venture would be easier than working at a dead-end 9-5 job.  I needed to explore my passions and to try to create a better financial future for my family.   I desperately needed my own identity. I had been pregnant and breastfeeding for what felt like an eternity, so I needed to find something that gave me a sense of self worth.  Without going into all of the painful mistakes and disasters that ultimately lead to the demise of my company, I picked one of the toughest and most expensive industries to enter without experience! I failed at every goal I had set out to achieve.  The garment industry is not for the faint of heart or the self-financed person without other financial investors.  So, only two years after quitting my corporate job, I had dug a deeper hole of insecurity, felt a lesser sense of worth and an even lesser sense of who I was and where I was heading. 

I dabbled in direct sales - big, big, big, mistake!!  I freelanced for friends who owned companies.  I set out to find a full-time job but my resume scared every Human Resources person in town!  They didn’t know what to do with an entrepreneur/stay-at-home mom/freelancer of many years!  I kept my hopes and head up and continued to search out business opportunities that would lead me to finding my passion and making a living at it. I have been a friend’s assistant, a runner, a sales person, an app creator for iPhones (it was a very interesting experience!), a free life coach (in-training), a therapy junkie and finally, a mom and a wife! 

Four years ago, after leaving my weekly therapy session, I decided to read a self-help book (Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer) that I had been putting off for many years.  That book opened my eyes and started me on a self-healing path that would ultimately land me here!  I have since read many more books and continue my weekly therapy sessions.

I had days of complete boredom, after I’d finished with cooking and cleaning and dealing with my children.  The boredom came from not feeling like I had any interesting personal development or passion left in me.  I would search out websites or videos on YouTube to inspire me and maybe guide me through my gloomy days.  I reached out, or rather, blurted out, to my friend Maria, while having our monthly lunch at our favorite restaurant, "We need to start a website that inspires and encourages women, a place where women feel the support and empathy of other women treading through life with their individual but similar struggles.”  So, Maria and I set out to create a place where we can share our challenges. We have also invited our fabulous girlfriends to help us and share their thoughts, advice and encouraging stories.  I have started this new chapter in hopes that I can conquer my fears, see how great my worth is and evolve as a flawed but passionate woman on a quest to find my Lucky Break in this chaotic grind that I call my life.  Cheers! 

-Fabiola

2 comments:

  1. I'm at work exploring your site. Before that I was missing being able to pick up my kids from school.You helped me see the other side of the coin. And so I'll share my side of the coin. I've worked since I was 13, never to have another summer really off. I did find FUN, lots of it and I enjoyed my independence although it came with days when I was barely making it. But like you I just kept moving forward. I got my degrees and have had some great jobs. I've been at my current job for almost 13 years, it's an awesome job and I do love what I do. But now as my own daughter approaches 13 I have time to reflect. Truth: I wish I could be there more. My fear is that I'm not a good enough person, mother, wife. Last year was a very difficult year and That book - Change Your Thoughts, Change Your life plus both Nacho & I doing yoga, meditating, helped us so much. It helped me to Want to see what I had hid all those years. In the past few weeks I have just realized who I really am. Now it will be a process of getting to know more about me. Thank you for giving me a place to express and for sharing your story. You are geniune!

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    1. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story, Cathy! I'm so happy for you and Nacho finding ways to quiet your minds and find happiness within. We hope to continue to inspire you and help you along in your journey! Thank you for your support.

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